Lessons Learned and Positive Vibrations

Living, learning, evolving and doing it all as positive as one possibly can…


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Lies, Truths, Untruths and Knowing the Difference…

Ask yourself a few questions:

How many lies have you bought into?

How many untruths have you taken on as your own?

What have you said you can’t do because of something you believe to be true?

What have you not done because of something you fear?

What are you looking outside of yourself to fix?

I’ve come to shed another layer of myself recently and a lot of it was to do with the lies I’d bought into over the years. Mainly the lies wrapped around my idea of family and who I was to my family. I’ve been told I’ve got issues and baggage and to be frank according to those I chose to be around, rather fucked up.

Now first of all, that’s an interesting point of view. Second, that says as much about those saying it as it does me. Third and most importantly, if I chose to take that on as truth, as my truth then what opportunities or possibilities was I allowing to pass by because I was choosing to be as f’ed up as people said I was…

Think about it.

I’ll ask again.

What lies or untruths have you taken on as your own? There are tons out there. There are millions of points of view and judgments that we can take on as our truth and this is exactly what prevents us from stepping into our true, authentic, beautiful, limitless selves!

Who have you identified as because of lies you’ve bought into? What are you not doing that is true to you?

We can start to let go of these untruths by looking at everything as an interesting point of view. Everything is an interesting point of view. Your views, everyone elses, it’s all an interesting point of view.

Everything is the opposite of what it appears to be – something to remember…

Remember the difference between what is light and what is heavy… The more you tap into that the more awareness will grow from it. If something is true for you it will feel light, if it is not true for you it will feel heavy and cause your energy (in and/or around you) to react in some way (keep in mind it is different for everyone). You can ask this all the time, I find that using this tool exercises your knowing and your awareness. Just feel the energy of the situation and see if that energy feels light or heavy.

Never ever ever question your knowing. Now I don’t mean what your ego thinks it knows, I mean what your awareness knows. You know those things you just know? Some refer to it as a gut feeling, others say it is being intuitive. Whatever it is, those times you just know something? Don’t question it. Actually I would even go to the extent of saying that it’s in your best interest to listen to and use your awareness.

Remember that everything you see in others is a reflection of yourself or an aspect of your own consciousness… There will be days when I see lots of beautiful people, there will be days where I see lots of angry people… Either way, those I see are just reflections of me… It’s a lot more difficult to judge people when you look at everyone and everything as being a part of you.

So, what lies or untruths have you taken on as your own, and more importantly, what lies and untruths are you willing to let go of right now?

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Damn Those Coping Mechanisms!

Greetings beautiful ones!

A friend of mine contacted me this week and said that her head was in total chaos. It had been a week of debauchery since the break-up from her significant other. Her situation reminded me of my own separations, it also reminded me of a time when I began to choose to process the situation differently. A few break-ups ago I discovered something. Coping mechanisms prolong the process.

After having a god-awful break-up. Correction, the break-up wasn’t too bad at all, it was the prelude to the break-up that was far more messy than it needed to be (in hindsight of course). Rather than go drinking, smoke copious amounts of dope or go on a rebound rampage I would allow myself to grieve for the loss of the (albeit toxic) relationship. Instead of distracting myself using coping mechanisms, I just allowed myself to be in whatever it was that I was feeling, be it sadness, anger, gratitude or love.

The second part of the process for me was to do things that nurtured me. Things that fed my soul in some way. I found myself by the water a lot. I took a lot of walks, took up yoga on a daily basis as well as having baths instead of showers (makes a huge difference, I kid you not!). I started writing again, even started working again (I couldn’t find work while my ex and I were in the final stages of our relationship – a blessing now I look back on it). Have you ever noticed that when you clear things out of your life, you make room for new, bigger, better things? Point being that all the things I was doing after our separation were feeding, nurturing and healing me. All of these were things I’d stopped doing.

The lessons I discovered through this process (which have also saved me from having prolonged, soul crushing, gut wrenching, unnecessarily toxic break-ups since) were;

First and foremost listen to yourself. When your body/ spirit/ intuition tells you to leave, leave. Sticking it out forces the universe to deliver bigger signs. Sometimes that makes the situation even more chaotic or messy. Back to basics, listen to yourself and honour what you already know.

Coping mechanisms are what we have picked up along the way that enable us to cope. There’s nothing wrong with having them. Acknowledging that they are coping mechanisms is a healthy way to go about them because that means you have awareness, again, there is nothing wrong with having them. However, spending your time doing things with the intention of healing, feeding or nurturing yourself can be more beneficial than using coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms are designed to help you cope and not address the truth of the situation, therefore they don’t help you to move forward. Actively healing yourself does help you in moving towards your greater self.

Being in the moment with whatever it is that you’re feeling is being honest with it. It’s facing the truth of it all and once you’ve done that, those feelings don’t need to come back. If you’re feeling them, they’re coming up because they need to be dealt with. Being honest with them and feeling them in a space of no judgment for as long as you need to (could be an hour, could be a day, could be longer) allows you to process them and let them go. This is something that you could use in a lot of situations beyond break ups.

Asking yourself if what you are feeling or thinking is yours to begin with. If they are not yours, you can return them and that will save you tons of time and energy in processing them.

What are some of the things that have helped you in times like this? I would love to hear them! You can reach me at beyoubemagical@gmail.com. Sharing is caring!

What if we could go through the process of letting go and moving forward into our greater selves could with ease and without suffering?

Love, light, joy and ease!

C. xxx

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“Instead of having a breakdown, I’m focusing on having a breakthrough.” – Terrell Owens

There are times when we feel like everything is about to fall apart. I’ve come to learn that this feeling, the feeling of a breakdown is the moment before a breakthrough. This is something to remember when things look the most bleak, something amazing is on its way.