Lessons Learned and Positive Vibrations

Living, learning, evolving and doing it all as positive as one possibly can…


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Big Bangs and Brain Explosions

Almost every single individual I know right now is going through a trial of some sort. Be it financial woes, relationship turbulence,  work related strife or anything else – everyone is going through something.

It’s been a year for that hasn’t it? Think back over the past 12 months, go through the major and not so major events…

I know I’ve experienced death, revelations – both in myself and the family, being confronted with all that I would have preferred to hide from – all that makes me uncomfortable, coming face to face with my deepest issues. With all that came opportunities. Opportunities to step into my authentic self, opportunities to choose, opportunities to grow in ways I never knew possible.

It feels like this is a time to step up and choose. The recurring theme through all of this is the opportunity to make a choice, the opportunity to become more aware. All of these experiences force us to be exposed to the uncomfortable, the raw – they force us to choose: Step up or step aside.

Throughout all of this there is opportunity. Opportunity to peel off layers of you that don’t work for you any more, all that isn’t authentically you, all that doesn’t allow you to be you. Opportunity to see, perceive and gain awareness.

It feels like this is a time to fight. Not in a violent sense, but it is time to be fierce with your choices and going forward with all that you have. Proving that you’re strong enough, fierce enough for the next year and the years to come. Proving that you want it badly enough.

So here’s a question: What are you choosing? In whatever situation you’re in, what is it that you’re choosing? And is what you’re choosing in line with what is authentically you (keep in mind that what was authentically you might not be you in the here and now)?

What more could you receive from the opportunities presented to you? And most importantly, how badly do you want it?

What else is possible?

Food for thought.

Love and light.

May you find your way through this transitional time with ease.

C. xx

beyoubemagical@gmail.com


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When A Shit Storm Arises…

What is it that makes us think our trust is being tested?

Let me start at the beginning.

I am a firm believer in letting things happen as they should happen. Knowing that things will work out exactly as they’re supposed to. I am a believer of acting upon your intuition and trusting your gut, also in the law of attraction – put it out there and it will come. Ask for it and it will show up – maybe not as you expected, but it will show up.

So when a shit storm arises and it’s a little bit more challenging to sit comfortably in that really uncomfortable place and trust rather than freak, I mean jump up and force blood out of stones just to feel like something, anything is happening; what is the best way to go about letting the storm pass?

Since I am currently in this space I can only pass on what I know and what I’ve been told. Let’s start with what doesn’t aid the process:

Coping mechanisms, those that do not nurture, heal or feed the body, mind or spirit. These coping mechanisms (you know which ones) create a distraction. When I’m going through something uncomfortable, I used to reach for things that enabled me to escape the feelings I was experiencing. As much as this works in the moment as soon as you’re out of the haze it’s still waiting for you to be dealt with it.

Burying one’s head in the sand: Tried and tested and unfortunately it does nothing to help the situation. As I just mentioned, it may work in the moment but all of those uncomfortable feelings will be exactly where you left them when you decide to return to reality.

Emotional reactions: Now I’ve said that emotional reactions generally don’t help the process to move forward, but not allowing yourself to release or express yourself with your emotions can do the same thing. So, finding balance between the two is key here. Release when you feel to release but don’t do it for longer than you need to. My emotions tend to come out of my eyes in the form of tears, it is something I learnt to do a long time ago. No matter the occasion 97% of the time I will cry. Yet there is a difference between allowing yourself to release knowing it is a release and wallowing in self pity. In my reality, if I don’t release those feelings they bleed into other areas. I become angry at everything and overreact, I lose my balanced, objective self. Releasing is like resetting and preventing that spillage, but there is a difference between that and the pity party or jumping down that rabbit hole of depression.

Now to the things that I’ve found really help:

Being present: As cliché as this may sound and as many times as we’ve heard it – it is true. There’s even a science behind it (there’s an amazing Ted Talk video if you don’t believe me). Going from moment to moment, opening yourself to receiving as much as you can in that moment and being grateful for it helps.

Which leads me to gratitude. The societies we live in (especially the western ones) teach us to yearn for more. We constantly crave for more than what we have be it materially or otherwise so rarely do we think about stopping to give thanks for the awesome things we already have. There are so very many things to be grateful for!

If you’re willing, I’d like to propose a challenge. I challenge you to write 50 or 100 things you’re grateful for. Let me know how that goes and more importantly, how you feel after!

Asking questions: Questions open up possibilities so ask them. “What if…..” or “what would it be like to….” or “what would it take for…”. What if you were to ask for more than material things? What if we asked for conscious change within ourselves and our societies What if we asked for growth and evolution, possibilities and opportunity?

One more thing; ask if it is yours. Why should we go through these emotional tornados and purges if we don’t have to? Remember to ask if what you’re thinking, feeling and experiencing is yours and if it isn’t simply return it to sender.

Before I finish up, I must take the opportunity to show gratitude for all of you. Although I write to share and help others, this is a release and it is nurturing and it is part of my process. So I am grateful, incredibly grateful to you wonderful you for taking the time to join me along this journey, send me love or comment or give me feedback. I think this is part of what connects us, it is how we grow closer as a community and it is a beautiful, beautiful thing!

Sending each one of you love and light, and as a friend of mine said to me today;

“Sending light and love your way, you know how we do, all day, every day. Namaste.”

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xx C xx

 


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The Power of Hugs

Giving free hugs in London with Yelena and Vlad

This idea and this photo always make me smile! I stumbled upon this while I was in London this summer. Yelena and Vlad were giving out free hugs to anyone that wanted them and recording it as they went. I felt awkward at first but once I was open to it, people responded and it was fantastic! Little children were asking their Mums if they could hug us strangers, wise ladies thanked us for making their day! It was truly magical. Hugs do a lot more than we realise! There’s a science behind it! Hugs make for a better more positive life!

Go forth and give hugs!

Love and light to you! Have a beautiful day!


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Damn Those Coping Mechanisms!

Greetings beautiful ones!

A friend of mine contacted me this week and said that her head was in total chaos. It had been a week of debauchery since the break-up from her significant other. Her situation reminded me of my own separations, it also reminded me of a time when I began to choose to process the situation differently. A few break-ups ago I discovered something. Coping mechanisms prolong the process.

After having a god-awful break-up. Correction, the break-up wasn’t too bad at all, it was the prelude to the break-up that was far more messy than it needed to be (in hindsight of course). Rather than go drinking, smoke copious amounts of dope or go on a rebound rampage I would allow myself to grieve for the loss of the (albeit toxic) relationship. Instead of distracting myself using coping mechanisms, I just allowed myself to be in whatever it was that I was feeling, be it sadness, anger, gratitude or love.

The second part of the process for me was to do things that nurtured me. Things that fed my soul in some way. I found myself by the water a lot. I took a lot of walks, took up yoga on a daily basis as well as having baths instead of showers (makes a huge difference, I kid you not!). I started writing again, even started working again (I couldn’t find work while my ex and I were in the final stages of our relationship – a blessing now I look back on it). Have you ever noticed that when you clear things out of your life, you make room for new, bigger, better things? Point being that all the things I was doing after our separation were feeding, nurturing and healing me. All of these were things I’d stopped doing.

The lessons I discovered through this process (which have also saved me from having prolonged, soul crushing, gut wrenching, unnecessarily toxic break-ups since) were;

First and foremost listen to yourself. When your body/ spirit/ intuition tells you to leave, leave. Sticking it out forces the universe to deliver bigger signs. Sometimes that makes the situation even more chaotic or messy. Back to basics, listen to yourself and honour what you already know.

Coping mechanisms are what we have picked up along the way that enable us to cope. There’s nothing wrong with having them. Acknowledging that they are coping mechanisms is a healthy way to go about them because that means you have awareness, again, there is nothing wrong with having them. However, spending your time doing things with the intention of healing, feeding or nurturing yourself can be more beneficial than using coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms are designed to help you cope and not address the truth of the situation, therefore they don’t help you to move forward. Actively healing yourself does help you in moving towards your greater self.

Being in the moment with whatever it is that you’re feeling is being honest with it. It’s facing the truth of it all and once you’ve done that, those feelings don’t need to come back. If you’re feeling them, they’re coming up because they need to be dealt with. Being honest with them and feeling them in a space of no judgment for as long as you need to (could be an hour, could be a day, could be longer) allows you to process them and let them go. This is something that you could use in a lot of situations beyond break ups.

Asking yourself if what you are feeling or thinking is yours to begin with. If they are not yours, you can return them and that will save you tons of time and energy in processing them.

What are some of the things that have helped you in times like this? I would love to hear them! You can reach me at beyoubemagical@gmail.com. Sharing is caring!

What if we could go through the process of letting go and moving forward into our greater selves could with ease and without suffering?

Love, light, joy and ease!

C. xxx

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Metamorphosis

I’ve arrived at a new space. A new head-space so to speak.

When I think about this new space I’m in and what it looks like I see myself in a field, there are flowers, dandelions (light, fluffy, weightless). It feels new and I’m in awe. It’s quiet, I feel quiet, light, spacious, uncomfortable in this newness. If this scene had music it would be by CocoRosie. There would be dragonflies and butterflies and ladybirds and fairies. I would be wearing something light and floaty and free-flowing. When I think about what these feelings look like or feel like, it’s bright, free, quiet, and light. And yes, it’s uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, it’s just new. My space used to be loud and chaotic and full. It’s not now and that’s new. It’s unfamiliar, actually the way my space used to feel doesn’t feel like part of me at all.

I don’t feel the need to speak. This may be one of the biggest changes. (I’m sure those who have known me for a long time will agree!)

There’s also a feeling of detachment; There isn’t a need for things like there was before. This hasn’t happened in it’s entirety yet but I can feel something changing.

If this feeling, this new sense of self, this metamorphosis can be explained (if it even needs to be), it’s like a switch has been flipped. A greater sense of awareness has swept over me. It’s a greater sense of space, awareness. It’s literally as though a portal has been opened. There is connection, there is awareness, there is peace and there is balance.

This is new and it is uncomfortable (for the time being), but it feels awfully light.

The lessons thus far?

Whenever you’re going through a change, allow that change to take place with ease. Meaning when something like this comes up, don’t fight it with coping mechanisms, just allow yourself to ‘be’ in the new, uncomfortable place. Being uncomfortable isn’t a bad thing, it’s just new, and that’s perfectly fine.

We’re in a reality where there are so very many ways to communicate. It’s true what they say, silence is golden. Take some quiet time once in a while. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means you care enough to look after yourself.

Here’s a new tool for you. This is something I picked up from Dain Heer at Access Consciousness. If something is true to you it will feel light, it will feel spacious, energetically speaking. If something isn’t true for you, it will feel heavy. You may feel something similar to a knot in your stomach, it might not be in your stomach or even in your body, but it will feel heavy.
Remember, if it’s true, it’s light; if it’s not, it’s heavy.

Sending out love, light and ease and joy to you on your journey.

 

 

 


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Be Quiet And Listen!

It wouldn’t be honest or transparent of me if I only wrote about the rosy times. Not to say that this isn’t a positive moment, it just feels a tad bit more gritty.

It’s amazing how the more you open yourself up to the process, the more you become aware of the process. It gets easier too, you acquire tools along the way and these tools make the times of transition or change more apparent. They also help you to sort out everything that comes up and find a new place of understanding.

After a seriously intense energy session I’ve been feeling a lot of things coming to the surface. A lot of it has to do with listening to that knowing voice, allowing it to speak and surrendering to its truth. One thing I’m unable to deny is that psychic-ness we all feel. We know what we know, we’ve just been taught to ignore it or justify it and cast it off as nothing or even worse, crazy talk; “we couldn’t possibly know the unknown… could we?” Well we do, you know it and I know it. That voice that pops up and tells you not to go down that street, or to do one thing rather than another, that overwhelming feeling we get… that same force, power, feeling, voice, whatever you want to call it is always speaking to us. No matter the situation, you know the answer, all it takes is to be authentically you in the moment and the answer comes.

Another thing that comes creeping up is the question of whether the thoughts, feelings, opinions, goals, desires or dreams I’m having are mine. I’ve recently taken some time to quieten things down so that I can listen. Listening to yourself isn’t what I thought it was since learning that all of my thoughts etc aren’t my own, it’s taking a conscious effort to continue to ask which ones are my mine and be open enough to receive the answers in their entirety.

Something that helps: Doing things that are authentically me.

How do you know when something is authentically you? Simple, you love it (or you love what it does to or for you), it makes your mind quiet and allows you to be totally present and gives you a sense of balance. There isn’t a set list either. These things evolve and change as you do.

Some of my things are cooking, writing, photography, running and connecting to nature. All of these things and others allow me to be present, they’re good for me and in a way they set me free.

Things are constantly changing. I’m getting a sense that my purpose in coming to Toronto is changing, or what if I’m allowing the truth to be heard? I’m here to embark on a creative project, yes, but I’m also here to receive lessons and travel further towards my authentic self. To open myself up more and to let go. Having acknowledged that, I’m now asking what I need next? Where do I need to go and what do I need to do next?

So, the lessons to be taken from this part of the journey?

The importance of being authentically you. Not doing so leads to things becoming frustrating, difficult, more chaotic and unbalanced. Things just don’t feel right.

Do things that bring you balance. Whether it’s biking, gardening, painting or playing something. Know that the answers will come, just be open to receiving them in whatever way they show themselves.

Also, as a very dear friend of mine has said, we are far more psychic than we allow ourselves to believe. Trust that you know. The more you open yourself up, the more you listen, the more you’ll hear. Apply the practice of being authentically you and see if things don’t become more apparent!

Sending you love, peace and light beauty-filled beings!


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To The Brave Young Girl on YouTube.

I was browsing Facebook and saw a few status updates referring to a video on YouTube that’s being circulated all over social networking sites and the media. I watched the video. It tells a tale of a young girl (could be you, could be me, could be any one of us). She tells a story of vulnerability, of dependency, a story of her need to be accepted, of her longing to be loved. She described the choices she made on this quest to find what she was longing for. She spoke of how others responded. There was no mention of acts of kindness or compassion, open-mindedness or love, but of horrid hateful words and violence.
This story saddens me. Her helplessness and despair saddens me. How much I relate and identify with this girl saddens me.

It scares me just how easy it is to choose that path. At such an impressionable, transitional stage in life, rather than being taught the life skills we need to make (mentally, physically, spiritually) healthy choices, rather than celebrating the beauty in all of us, we’re labeled based on the most irrelevant of things. We’re taught that beauty is one type of thing and intelligence is one type of thing when both come in such varied and different forms. At such an impressionable, transitional stage we are conditioned to believe that we are only as good/ whole/ valuable/ attractive/ smart/ worthy as our peers think we are which immediately teaches us to give away our power rather than to nurture it.

It is so incredibly important to teach one another (especially the young ones) how to love ourselves and respect ourselves first. We must teach and encourage one another to speak the truth! Those who choose to pick on/ bully/ make fun of others are doing so because of their own pain/ anger/ insecurities/ fear.

My heart cries for people who feel so alone, unloved, ugly or unworthy that they feel the need to take their own life. I cry because I relate, I cry because I remember, I cry because some day we get to look back at the past and smile because we now know we are loved and we can allow that bright light within us to shine. As the young girl in the video said “everyones future will be bright one day, you just gotta pull through”.

The lessons?

Speak kindly. Speak from a place of love and gratitude. You never know how much it will mean to the one you’re saying it to (it feels good to say good things too).

Remember that whenever you get angry or jealous, or when you have an emotional reaction to something or act out towards someone, there’s an issue within you that you need to address.

Take note of the fact that what you see in another is a reflection of what you see in yourself.

Don’t forget to use the tools! One I wish I knew way back when is to ask if a thought or feeling is my own. Literally ask it when it comes up “is this mine?” if it isn’t, (most of the time it isn’t) return it to sender. This is a tool to practice all the time, it makes things so much more balanced and peaceful.

Finally. Know that you are loved, know that you are beautiful and you are exactly as you are meant to be right here and right now.

What would it take for us to see our true amazing potential and be brave enough to be our true bright amazing selves?

C. xx