Lessons Learned and Positive Vibrations

Living, learning, evolving and doing it all as positive as one possibly can…


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The Power of Hugs

Giving free hugs in London with Yelena and Vlad

This idea and this photo always make me smile! I stumbled upon this while I was in London this summer. Yelena and Vlad were giving out free hugs to anyone that wanted them and recording it as they went. I felt awkward at first but once I was open to it, people responded and it was fantastic! Little children were asking their Mums if they could hug us strangers, wise ladies thanked us for making their day! It was truly magical. Hugs do a lot more than we realise! There’s a science behind it! Hugs make for a better more positive life!

Go forth and give hugs!

Love and light to you! Have a beautiful day!


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Damn Those Coping Mechanisms!

Greetings beautiful ones!

A friend of mine contacted me this week and said that her head was in total chaos. It had been a week of debauchery since the break-up from her significant other. Her situation reminded me of my own separations, it also reminded me of a time when I began to choose to process the situation differently. A few break-ups ago I discovered something. Coping mechanisms prolong the process.

After having a god-awful break-up. Correction, the break-up wasn’t too bad at all, it was the prelude to the break-up that was far more messy than it needed to be (in hindsight of course). Rather than go drinking, smoke copious amounts of dope or go on a rebound rampage I would allow myself to grieve for the loss of the (albeit toxic) relationship. Instead of distracting myself using coping mechanisms, I just allowed myself to be in whatever it was that I was feeling, be it sadness, anger, gratitude or love.

The second part of the process for me was to do things that nurtured me. Things that fed my soul in some way. I found myself by the water a lot. I took a lot of walks, took up yoga on a daily basis as well as having baths instead of showers (makes a huge difference, I kid you not!). I started writing again, even started working again (I couldn’t find work while my ex and I were in the final stages of our relationship – a blessing now I look back on it). Have you ever noticed that when you clear things out of your life, you make room for new, bigger, better things? Point being that all the things I was doing after our separation were feeding, nurturing and healing me. All of these were things I’d stopped doing.

The lessons I discovered through this process (which have also saved me from having prolonged, soul crushing, gut wrenching, unnecessarily toxic break-ups since) were;

First and foremost listen to yourself. When your body/ spirit/ intuition tells you to leave, leave. Sticking it out forces the universe to deliver bigger signs. Sometimes that makes the situation even more chaotic or messy. Back to basics, listen to yourself and honour what you already know.

Coping mechanisms are what we have picked up along the way that enable us to cope. There’s nothing wrong with having them. Acknowledging that they are coping mechanisms is a healthy way to go about them because that means you have awareness, again, there is nothing wrong with having them. However, spending your time doing things with the intention of healing, feeding or nurturing yourself can be more beneficial than using coping mechanisms. Coping mechanisms are designed to help you cope and not address the truth of the situation, therefore they don’t help you to move forward. Actively healing yourself does help you in moving towards your greater self.

Being in the moment with whatever it is that you’re feeling is being honest with it. It’s facing the truth of it all and once you’ve done that, those feelings don’t need to come back. If you’re feeling them, they’re coming up because they need to be dealt with. Being honest with them and feeling them in a space of no judgment for as long as you need to (could be an hour, could be a day, could be longer) allows you to process them and let them go. This is something that you could use in a lot of situations beyond break ups.

Asking yourself if what you are feeling or thinking is yours to begin with. If they are not yours, you can return them and that will save you tons of time and energy in processing them.

What are some of the things that have helped you in times like this? I would love to hear them! You can reach me at beyoubemagical@gmail.com. Sharing is caring!

What if we could go through the process of letting go and moving forward into our greater selves could with ease and without suffering?

Love, light, joy and ease!

C. xxx

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Metamorphosis

I’ve arrived at a new space. A new head-space so to speak.

When I think about this new space I’m in and what it looks like I see myself in a field, there are flowers, dandelions (light, fluffy, weightless). It feels new and I’m in awe. It’s quiet, I feel quiet, light, spacious, uncomfortable in this newness. If this scene had music it would be by CocoRosie. There would be dragonflies and butterflies and ladybirds and fairies. I would be wearing something light and floaty and free-flowing. When I think about what these feelings look like or feel like, it’s bright, free, quiet, and light. And yes, it’s uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, it’s just new. My space used to be loud and chaotic and full. It’s not now and that’s new. It’s unfamiliar, actually the way my space used to feel doesn’t feel like part of me at all.

I don’t feel the need to speak. This may be one of the biggest changes. (I’m sure those who have known me for a long time will agree!)

There’s also a feeling of detachment; There isn’t a need for things like there was before. This hasn’t happened in it’s entirety yet but I can feel something changing.

If this feeling, this new sense of self, this metamorphosis can be explained (if it even needs to be), it’s like a switch has been flipped. A greater sense of awareness has swept over me. It’s a greater sense of space, awareness. It’s literally as though a portal has been opened. There is connection, there is awareness, there is peace and there is balance.

This is new and it is uncomfortable (for the time being), but it feels awfully light.

The lessons thus far?

Whenever you’re going through a change, allow that change to take place with ease. Meaning when something like this comes up, don’t fight it with coping mechanisms, just allow yourself to ‘be’ in the new, uncomfortable place. Being uncomfortable isn’t a bad thing, it’s just new, and that’s perfectly fine.

We’re in a reality where there are so very many ways to communicate. It’s true what they say, silence is golden. Take some quiet time once in a while. It doesn’t mean you don’t care, it means you care enough to look after yourself.

Here’s a new tool for you. This is something I picked up from Dain Heer at Access Consciousness. If something is true to you it will feel light, it will feel spacious, energetically speaking. If something isn’t true for you, it will feel heavy. You may feel something similar to a knot in your stomach, it might not be in your stomach or even in your body, but it will feel heavy.
Remember, if it’s true, it’s light; if it’s not, it’s heavy.

Sending out love, light and ease and joy to you on your journey.

 

 

 


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Be Quiet And Listen!

It wouldn’t be honest or transparent of me if I only wrote about the rosy times. Not to say that this isn’t a positive moment, it just feels a tad bit more gritty.

It’s amazing how the more you open yourself up to the process, the more you become aware of the process. It gets easier too, you acquire tools along the way and these tools make the times of transition or change more apparent. They also help you to sort out everything that comes up and find a new place of understanding.

After a seriously intense energy session I’ve been feeling a lot of things coming to the surface. A lot of it has to do with listening to that knowing voice, allowing it to speak and surrendering to its truth. One thing I’m unable to deny is that psychic-ness we all feel. We know what we know, we’ve just been taught to ignore it or justify it and cast it off as nothing or even worse, crazy talk; “we couldn’t possibly know the unknown… could we?” Well we do, you know it and I know it. That voice that pops up and tells you not to go down that street, or to do one thing rather than another, that overwhelming feeling we get… that same force, power, feeling, voice, whatever you want to call it is always speaking to us. No matter the situation, you know the answer, all it takes is to be authentically you in the moment and the answer comes.

Another thing that comes creeping up is the question of whether the thoughts, feelings, opinions, goals, desires or dreams I’m having are mine. I’ve recently taken some time to quieten things down so that I can listen. Listening to yourself isn’t what I thought it was since learning that all of my thoughts etc aren’t my own, it’s taking a conscious effort to continue to ask which ones are my mine and be open enough to receive the answers in their entirety.

Something that helps: Doing things that are authentically me.

How do you know when something is authentically you? Simple, you love it (or you love what it does to or for you), it makes your mind quiet and allows you to be totally present and gives you a sense of balance. There isn’t a set list either. These things evolve and change as you do.

Some of my things are cooking, writing, photography, running and connecting to nature. All of these things and others allow me to be present, they’re good for me and in a way they set me free.

Things are constantly changing. I’m getting a sense that my purpose in coming to Toronto is changing, or what if I’m allowing the truth to be heard? I’m here to embark on a creative project, yes, but I’m also here to receive lessons and travel further towards my authentic self. To open myself up more and to let go. Having acknowledged that, I’m now asking what I need next? Where do I need to go and what do I need to do next?

So, the lessons to be taken from this part of the journey?

The importance of being authentically you. Not doing so leads to things becoming frustrating, difficult, more chaotic and unbalanced. Things just don’t feel right.

Do things that bring you balance. Whether it’s biking, gardening, painting or playing something. Know that the answers will come, just be open to receiving them in whatever way they show themselves.

Also, as a very dear friend of mine has said, we are far more psychic than we allow ourselves to believe. Trust that you know. The more you open yourself up, the more you listen, the more you’ll hear. Apply the practice of being authentically you and see if things don’t become more apparent!

Sending you love, peace and light beauty-filled beings!


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To The Brave Young Girl on YouTube.

I was browsing Facebook and saw a few status updates referring to a video on YouTube that’s being circulated all over social networking sites and the media. I watched the video. It tells a tale of a young girl (could be you, could be me, could be any one of us). She tells a story of vulnerability, of dependency, a story of her need to be accepted, of her longing to be loved. She described the choices she made on this quest to find what she was longing for. She spoke of how others responded. There was no mention of acts of kindness or compassion, open-mindedness or love, but of horrid hateful words and violence.
This story saddens me. Her helplessness and despair saddens me. How much I relate and identify with this girl saddens me.

It scares me just how easy it is to choose that path. At such an impressionable, transitional stage in life, rather than being taught the life skills we need to make (mentally, physically, spiritually) healthy choices, rather than celebrating the beauty in all of us, we’re labeled based on the most irrelevant of things. We’re taught that beauty is one type of thing and intelligence is one type of thing when both come in such varied and different forms. At such an impressionable, transitional stage we are conditioned to believe that we are only as good/ whole/ valuable/ attractive/ smart/ worthy as our peers think we are which immediately teaches us to give away our power rather than to nurture it.

It is so incredibly important to teach one another (especially the young ones) how to love ourselves and respect ourselves first. We must teach and encourage one another to speak the truth! Those who choose to pick on/ bully/ make fun of others are doing so because of their own pain/ anger/ insecurities/ fear.

My heart cries for people who feel so alone, unloved, ugly or unworthy that they feel the need to take their own life. I cry because I relate, I cry because I remember, I cry because some day we get to look back at the past and smile because we now know we are loved and we can allow that bright light within us to shine. As the young girl in the video said “everyones future will be bright one day, you just gotta pull through”.

The lessons?

Speak kindly. Speak from a place of love and gratitude. You never know how much it will mean to the one you’re saying it to (it feels good to say good things too).

Remember that whenever you get angry or jealous, or when you have an emotional reaction to something or act out towards someone, there’s an issue within you that you need to address.

Take note of the fact that what you see in another is a reflection of what you see in yourself.

Don’t forget to use the tools! One I wish I knew way back when is to ask if a thought or feeling is my own. Literally ask it when it comes up “is this mine?” if it isn’t, (most of the time it isn’t) return it to sender. This is a tool to practice all the time, it makes things so much more balanced and peaceful.

Finally. Know that you are loved, know that you are beautiful and you are exactly as you are meant to be right here and right now.

What would it take for us to see our true amazing potential and be brave enough to be our true bright amazing selves?

C. xx


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Say Nay! Then Say Yay! (Part 1)

You know that tiny (or large) voice in your head that gives you those lists of reasons why you shouldn’t / won’t / can’t do things?

Have you ever wondered what the purpose of that voice is? Think about it! Once you have chosen to take on that voice and make it your reality, what happens?

I know what happens to me! Those thoughts become the perfect reason not to do whatever it is I’m thinking of! And let’s face it a lot of ideas, I’d even go to say the majority of ideas we have are pretty amazing!

How convenient is it for us to have a fantabulous idea and then not carry it out because that voice creeps up behind your idea, telling you all of the reasons you can’t do it. That great, wondrous idea is now buried, under all of those heavy, doubtful, reasons.

For example; I’m a photographer (amongst other things). I want to put on an exhibition. Now if I had buried this idea when it was born I wouldn’t get to showcase my work, meet amazing open and creative spirits, ¬†or step further into my greatness! If I choose the voice in my head that says horrid things like ‘no one will buy your work’, ‘no one will care’, ‘there are so many people out there better than you’ or any of the other cruel, soul crushing things it whispers, I would never do anything! Let alone get out of bed!

Instead I say ‘Nay!’ People will buy my work because they connect with my work! And they will connect because I am connected to my work! They will care because I care and there is no better or worse, there is only different! Then I blow raspberries at the voice and flick my hair as I turn and skip towards my dreams and my greatness with glee!

Let’s look at another example. This is one I’ve witnessed too many times to count. The conversation goes something like this: Friend: “I’m so __________ about/of your travels. I think that it’s _________. I wish I could do that, it’s been a dream of mine for years.” Me: “Then why don’t you?” Friend: “Oh I can’t/shouldn’t/won’t ________________.” And before they’ve even begun they’ve killed and buried something they’ve been dreaming about doing for years.

Does killing a dream even make sense?

Enter the lesson: Doubt is a distraction. It offers you a way out from the uncomfortable process of stepping into your greatest self.

When you have one of those light bulb moments and it feels all light and makes you jump and tingle with glee, step into it! Just do it (yes, I believe I just quoted Nike)! Figure out a way to do it and go for it!

Think of all the amazing things we could achieve if only we stopped talking ourselves out of the great ideas we have.

I’m going to jump on the bandwagon and see where it takes me. I’m going to write a list (which I will post online a little later), a bucket list if you will, of all the things I’ve wanted to do or dreamed of and all the crazy ideas I’ve killed. Then one by one, or two by two I’m going to do them. And I promise to keep you posted! Will you do the same? Will you let me know how it goes too? I’ll even give you my email! beyoubemagical@gmail.com email me! I want to hear your stories! We can inspire and motivate and conquer that voice of doubt and fear together!

Horaaaah!!!

Sending you all courage, love, creative juices and really big hugs!

C.


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Emotional Reactions and Interesting Points of View

Lots of things make me think. Events, situations, interactions, especially those that make me respond in a way that is different to the way I usually would.

There was a chain of events (sometimes it takes a chain for me to ask myself the questions needed to reflect). First there was a conversation with a friend. Then there was another conversation – this one I didn’t receive so well. Then there was the Weekly Photo Challenge theme – and it all came together (while having another conversation).

My photography. It’s something that’s incredibly precious to me. I see it as mine (this week’s photo challenge theme). It’s always been the way I express myself and the more I step into my photographer self, the more sensitive it is.

Throughout various conversations, whatever was being said hit a nerve. Good or bad, all interesting points of view created an emotional reaction.

It seems that I am incredibly guarded with this creative outlet I consider to be mine.

So… Where is the lesson in all of this?

Emotional reactions create unbalance. Balance is something I am working on acquiring. Detachment is needed here. I say detachment because the opinions of others are not things I need to live by. I do not need to hang on the every word of others. My art is my art and it is what it is. I do not need any validation.

If you take the good or bad, positive or negative connotations away from points of view, be it your point of view or that of others, then it is just an interesting point of view. Once it is an interesting point of view it is nothing more, nothing less. Herein lies the power of detachment.

If everything is an interesting point of view, I don’t need to have an emotional reaction which is really a waste of time and energy.

This is the lesson.

Stepping into your greatness requires a great deal of energy, time and focus. Emotional reactions take away from your energy. Points of view are just different ways of looking / perceiving / receiving something.

This is definitely something to remember, adding this to the other lessons and things to practice will make learning, growing and evolving that much easier.

Sending out a ripple of peace, love and light! Catch the ripple and pass it on!
C.