i can not believe that it’s been about a year since i’ve written anything. even though as the year was passing and i was wondering why i didn’t want to put my thoughts down on paper (per say), the whole time i was thinking not to worry. when i needed to write, i would.
it’s certainly been a year of transition and change.
the places that i’ve seen in the world, the things that i have been taught by so many people and cultures have transformed me. on leaving korea i took 3 months to explore asia. i experienced cambodia, thailand, laos, malaysia and indonesia, i even went back to korea for a pit stop and was able to see it through new eyes. those 3 months were by far some of the best and evolutionary experiences i’ve had in my life. i volunteered in cabodia for a month teaching children and teens english in a village 45 minutes away from siem reap. i saw the angkor wat kingdom. i sat with thousand-year old trees and meditated in little caves. in thailand i rode my first elephant and hiked in mountains and through rice paddies. in laos i woke up with elephants and got to wash them, had emergency situations involving capsizing kayaks and scorpions. in malaysia i saw an amazing blend of culture while in indonesia i was able to connect with nature and people. along the way i met amazing souls and got a taste for travel and learning about countries, cultures and history like never before. i said it in the past but now i believe it more than ever; travel is by far the best kind of education.
after that i went back to canada, loved reconnecting with those i love there but i was propelled by the feeling to leave again and so i took a job in a tiny spanish town on the very northern coast of morocco. melilla is a fusion of spanish and moroccan culture and has allowed me to explore the gorgeous land of morocco.
since working in melilla i have come across challenges and wonderful opportunities. i have taken up a love for exercise and have become more of myself, or closer to myself through this journey. i am that much more calm, far more positive and loving, and i now understand that doing things for myself is an essential part of well-being, as is listening to yourself.
i’m coming to the end of my contract with plans to return to london, working for a few weeks, reconnecting with those i love and what i love about london before returning to canada for the foreseeable future. it is the end of a cycle and the beginning of another, unknown chapter. it is the way of life, one book ends while a new one is being written. i’ve realised that this process doesn’t get any less scary. anxiety still lurks around the corner but i have learnt to trust myself and going into this new place of possibilities doesn’t change that. if i trust myself and remember my goals and what i want to achieve then i will succeed. this will not be without challenges, struggles and times where i need to fight, but none of them are reasons to not go for exactly what it is that i want.
over the past few weeks i’ve spent time thinking about korea and my travels, where i was a year ago and what has changed. i feel different. i do feel closer to myself, i feel more aware and connected to the energies around me and it has become an absolute necessity to surround myself by nature on a regular basis. i have been focusing on putting what i’ve learned and what i continue to learn into practice. doing less things that drain me or things that are detrimental to me and concentrating on the things that are good for me. also making the conscious choice not to be around people who project negativity or anger more often than not has helped me along the way too.
there were a few events in this past year that shook me to my core and forced me to face some of my deepest issues. one of the most challenging was the passing of my grandmother. her passing was the first in my adult life of an immediate family member and it was by far one of the most painful things i’ve experienced. there was pain and grief that i had never experienced prior but the most amazing thing came out of it. i was able to see that even though i’ve rejected the notion of family for many years and tried to push family members away, my family is one of the few things in my life that i need. i also need loving and healthy relationships with my family in order for me to be truly happy and at peace. this may seem obvious to many and in my case hindsight is 20/20 since i see it now. through grannie leaving this earth i found such an immense sense to be with my family, essentially i found an appreciation for my family deeper than no other i’d experienced before. to understand that we are all human and we all have our own journeys and struggles to go through has been one of my most valuable lessons. i became so much closer to my family members and my family as a whole that i now feel very different to the way i felt years ago. i’m still working on my connections and relationships and having come through that makes me feel ever grateful, positive and excited. not to mention closer to my grandmother and my family.
grannie passing also taught me what grief is. something that i had never entirely been effected by before. i genuinely believe that it is those groundbreaking events that make you more human. through events that create such emotions and physical reactions we grow, or we have the opportunity to grow and the growth that comes from it, if you let it, can be immense.
growth IS immense. it’s powerful and it can push you further than you ever thought possible but when you come out of it stronger, closer to your true self, closer to your purpose and closer to others you come to realise that growth is necessary. fight it and be stagnant. allow the process to happen and the beauty of the world and the possibilities that it holds welcome you with open arms.
i truly hope that all is blessed with each and every one of you.
thank you for continuing to travel on this amazing journey with me.
thank you for your love and support throughout the past year.
sending out oodles of love and light,
peace and blessings.